In an effort to stave off computer-related posture damage, Brian got a fancy contraption that lifts his monitor and keyboard into a standing desk. The best part is that it’s called The Ergotron. Ever since he got that thing, others in the office have been feeling aches and pains. It’s all part of the plan: we will all be assimilated into the Ergotron! We are the Ergotron. Lower your shields and surrender your ships. We will add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Resistance is futile.
Or maybe it’ll be like the picture of Dorian Grey. Brian will be pain-free and posture-perfect, but somewhere else in the building, there’s a portrait of Brian that will slowly get more anguished and slumpy.
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