‘Choose PicMonkey. Abandon Your Family’ and 15 Other Rejected Mobile Taglines

‘Choose PicMonkey. Abandon Your Family’ and 15 Other Rejected Mobile Taglines

Picking a great tagline is tough stuff. It has to be short enough to be memorable, yet still capture that certain je ne sais quoi that gets to the heart your product and your brand. With the recent launch of our mobile app, we at PicMonkey HQ were frantically trying to find the El Dorado of taglines. How could we encapsulate how crazy-amazing our app is in just a few measly syllables?

On our way to our winner we had some good (and some not so good) contenders. Here are a few gems and why they unfortunately were not quite up to snuff.

Too dark

  • Choose PicMonkey. Abandon your family. It’s like running away to join the circus, but all our balloons are stickers and no one knows how to work a trapeze.
  • You could do a lot worse. It’s…not…untrue, but on the reals, we’re a *lot* more exciting than your mom’s friend’s nephew who’s a podiatrist and “so funny.”

Too much for the youths

  • Your stickerz just got slicker(z). Z’s rule, S’s drool(z).
  • The photo editor that’s too cool for metaphors. This one is almost laughably untrue. We might be too cool for similes, but metaphors are like our bread and butter.

Too racy

  • Your photo beditor. (That’s a “better editor.” We may be poor bowlers, but our minds aren’t in the gutter.)
  • The best thing in your pocket. Unless you have leprechaun gold in your pocket, which actually might be the best thing.

Too familiar

  • Really, really, ridiculously good-looking photos. Also, “PicMonkey, so hot right now. PicMonkey.” We too can’t not let this one die in a freak gasoline fight accident.
  • Orange is the new app. A play on a popular show title that’s playing on a popular fashion cliche? App-ception.
  • It’s a barrel full of fun! And laughs. And incidentally, also short-tailed primates with opposable thumbs.

Too monkey-tastic

  • It’s bananas! *You’re* bananas.
  • Go apespit! If the thought of a giant drooling primate who could squash you without batting a four inch eyelash doesn’t make you want to drop everything and download our app, then we don’t know what’s wrong with you.

Too hard to substantiate

  • More stickers than a doctor’s office. We doubt this is humanly possible, sadly.
  • Now with 98% less peanuts. The lab says 97.7% and it’s caused a bitter dispute.
  • The most fun you’ve ever had in your entire life. YASSS.

Too confusing, even to us

  • The Swiss Army Knife of photo editors. The PicMonkey app is a Swiss army knife because it’s an amazingly multipurpose tool that fits in your pocket and lets you both scale a fish and do your horse’s nails? Uhhhh… we’re just too cool for metaphors.

Too true

  • End world hunger and teach the children to read. The truth of this statement is so obviously obvious, that if we released it everyone’s eyeballs would melt out of their heads causing a global crisis. We held this one back for the good of America and the world.

And the winner is…

  • Rule the photoverse! It’s bold! It’s punchy! You’re in charge! There are photos!

Welp, there you have it folks. We’re glad you that we were able to get you an inside look into the arduous creative process.

Like our taglines? Have some bad ones of your own? Share them with us in the comments.


Do you wanna rule the photoverse? Download our mobile app to get PicMonkey in your pocket.

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This article was written by PicMonkey Staff, a multicellular organism of hive-minded sub-parts who just wanna get you the ideas and information you crave, so you can make good pictures and take over the world.