We’re not sure why so many fathers delight in Laffy Taffy wrapper-worthy humor, but it’s a enough of a trend that the term “dad joke” has become a part of the modern English lexicon. That’s why, in honor of Father’s Day, we’ve rounded up a whole bunch of eye-roll-inducing jokes to make paternal types—and us, we’ll admit it—chuckle.
And since helping you make fantabulous stuff is kind of our bailiwick, we’ve paired these jokes with our customizable Father’s Day templates. Let the jokes guide you to your ideal Father’s Day card design, add one to your chosen template, or just make your dad smile by telling him a new joke as you hand him a homemade card. Now get ready to laugh, cringe, or (most likely) do a little bit of both.
1. Why did the phone wear glasses? It lost all of its contacts.
2. Why should you wear sunglasses when it’s hot? Because they make you a lot cooler.
3. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because his class was so bright!
If you can picture your pops laughing about any of these, our Rad Dad template may be the perfect place to start your Father’s Day card design.
4. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little horse.
5. Where do cowboys cook their meals? On the range!
6. What’s the term for dressing up in cowboy clothes? Ranch dressing.
7. Why do cowboys get a lot of laughs? Because they’re always horsing around!
8. A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.” (If you don’t get this one at first, maybe ask your daddio to mansplain it).
If your father gets a kick out of “Blazing Saddles” or has an affinity for Louis L’Amour books, he may appreciate you rounding up a Western-themed dad joke. Couple it with our Cowboy Dad card template, and you’re basically guaranteed to win at Father’s Day, pardn’r.
9. What did the coal say when it saw a diamond? You’ve been under a lot of pressure lately.
10. What did the tectonic plates say when they bumped into each other? Not my fault.
11. Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.
12. What did the officer molecule say to the suspect molecule? I’ve got my ion you.
13. Why is it dangerous to read books about anti-gravity? Because you can’t put them down!
If your dad finds science anything but Boron (there’s a bonus terrible pun for ya), our Blue Genes template may be right up his alley.
14. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.
15. Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.
16. A police officer’s puppy refused to go into his crate for bedtime. He was charged with resisting a rest.
17. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they’d be chicken sedans!
18. A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, we’ve got a drink named after you!” The grasshopper says, “Really? You’ve got a drink named Irving?”
If animal-themed jokes make your dad laugh like a hyena, check out the Don’t Forget Dad card template. If you want to swap in a different four-legged photo, but like the colorized/grainy look of these elephants, use the Tint (Effects tab) and the Comic Print (Comic Heroes theme in the Themes tab) effects on your image before adding it to your template.
19. What happened when the ship full of red paint and the ship full of blue paint crashed into an island? The crews were marooned.
20. I started a new business selling engineless airplanes. It hasn’t taken off yet.
21. What does coral get stressed about? Current events.
22. My wristwatch broke, so I put it on my belt. Now it’s just a waist of time.
23. Which state has the smallest beverages? Minnesota!
24. Never buy Velcro. It’s a total rip-off.
25. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
If you cracked a smile at least once while reading through these 25 jokes (especially those last seven), thank your dad for your ridiculously awesome sense of humor with the Chip Off the Block template. You definitely inherited the dad joke gene.
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