Shake Things Up with Funny Valentine’s Day Cards

Let’s put our Valentine’s Day cards on the table: Some people just don’t like this holiday. Why? Maybe because they’re still smarting over their last break-up, or they can’t stand red roses with baby’s breath, or they resent the whole R.I.C. (Romance Industrial Complex). Yes, that’s a thing.

If you’re one of the haters who usually opts out of February 14, may we suggest an alternative? Why not take back Valentine’s Day and make it your own? Instead of romantic, lovey-dovey, or sentimental, try being silly, grumpy, or sarcastic. And instead of focusing on “The One,” spread the love to your gal pals, your bromances, your kiddies, and your kin. Bottom line: Let go and have some fun with these funny Valentine’s Day cards!

The science of love

Customize our Periodic Pick Up template.

Here’s what we think is truly missing from Valentine’s Day: Science. Which is why we’ve come up with a whole series of funny Valentine’s Day cards inspired by chemistry, biology, and physiology. You know how much we love puns. Well, the human body is a veritable treasure trove of pun-worthy bones and organs. And don’t even get us started on the periodic table! It’s chock full of material that’s perfect for your brainy valentine.

Customize our Bones About It template.

Tip: All of our Templates are customizable, so if you don’t like the color, composition, font, or words, change it up!

Is it love or lust?

Customize our Hot Button and Thinking of You templates.

It’s the eternal Valentine’s Day conundrum. You’ve got a sweetie, but you’ve only been dating a few weeks or months. Is it love? Who knows?! But what you DO know is you’ve totally got the hots for this guy or gal. Not only that, they’ve got a great sense of humor. So go ahead and send them something to tickle their funny bone—or whatever else you’d like to tickle.

Commitment issues

Customize our Heartburn and Heartly templates.

If you’re one of those types who doesn’t like to wear your heart on your sleeve with bold professions of love, give these understated, dare we say ambivalent V-Day messages a try. If your honey is as dry and cynical as you are, they’ll love ‘em! But if you don’t think they’ll get the joke, you might want to stick with a big heart-shaped Whitman’s sampler.

Tip: If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day messages that are a little less edgy, check out our blog article: “What to Say on Valentine’s Day: Messages for Your Sweetheart.”

Stand up singletons!

Customize our Rose Hurray! and Wing Man templates.

For those of us who are 100 percent single this Valentine’s Day, there’s no reason not to join in on the fun. Celebrate friendship with your best girlfriend. Show your bros that you’re not afraid to reveal your sensitive side. Express your love and affection for a sibling, an aunt or uncle, or for your trusty mail carrier. This Valentine’s Day, anything goes!

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Before joining the PicMonkey editorial team as a senior writer, Molly wrote about topics as varied as politics, finance, global health, and online dating. As a fiction writer, she’s published two books, both available on Amazon through totally non-sketchy retailers. A midwestern transplant who now calls Seattle home, Molly firmly believes that the Space Needle is way cooler than the Eiffel Tower.