PicMonkey.com is proud-to-the-point-of-bursting to announce our newest product: PicMonkey Glass. These software-enabled glasses let you perform stunning visual edits on the world around you, totally hands-free. Orton, Cross Process, Touch Up — all the effects you know and love on PicMonkey.com — can be applied to the lens of PicMonkey Glass, using voice commands, while wearing the glasses. Our beta testers reported a happier outlook, greater tolerance in visually challenging circumstances, and an increased ability to accept spousal unsightliness.
See the product demo at www.picmonkey.com/glass
How does all this techno-magic work? PicMonkey Glass uses 3D movie technology to make photo editing effects available to the naked eye. As light rays pass through the red and blue lenses of the glasses, a detailed point cloud of the world is uploaded to an armada of servers, where sophisticated object recognition algorithms break apart light fields into diffuse parametric isolations. Finally, a dedicated Higgs boson emitter attached to the eyepiece re-combines an ultra high resolution retinal projection, at a rate of 1,000 Hz, while neutered nanobots squeegee off residual ionic schvitz.